The Pulling Sea

No blessings for the broken, no morning for when I've woken.
No sun for the shining, no time for the dying.

The death is in the details;
The knife is from a female.
The heartfelt train was derailed;
The story’s hard to retell.

Sweeter pianos, bells, and strums, louder than any voice ever tried to be.
If only I could speak to you like you speak to me.

The confidence is true, but the hesitance is too.
No longer do I feel you, and I’m not blue, and I’m no hue.

You're not looking both ways because you're not on either side.
I might be lost in space, but at least I'm not stuck in your divide.

“No disparity” is what I tell myself, it puts me to sleep, and puts me at ease.
“Don’t be unfair to me” is what I told you;
You put me to sleep, dirt still on my knees.
Then showed me your tears; what a calling, what a tease.
I begged to Be; I tried to please.
I kept it in, without release.

But I’m fair to me, and I can tell you, dove.
I do not care, and I don’t want your love.

Nothing was lost because nothing was left.
You can keep your secret; take it to the grave.
You can keep your image: “you’re nobody's to save.”

There was a hole when you left; a heart that you stole.
But I filled it with music, and held on to my soul.
You can keep it for now, I’ve got all I need.
You can keep it for warmth, because you're still quite cold, I'm told.

I once called it the emerald, the sea of love, the loving sea.
I allowed you to anchor me, break my wings, and still you'd flee.
Your briar chains had held me down, while you tried to set me free.
Knowing you, you’re going to drown.
I don’t want to see.

This is an aggregation of my past few months. most of it was one piece, but I picked out a few things from other sparks of inspiration that I had along the way. It's not necessarily where I am now, or will be tomorrow.
Take it for what you will. It's just what I felt.